It’s Like A Heat Wave

The northeast region of the country where I live is now in the middle of some excessively hot weather. The temps have flirted with the high nineties, and the heat index was, in the last couple of days, in the triple digits. These are the kind of days where it’s difficult to just stand around without sweating profusely, let alone be involved in an activity or have to work outside.

The intensity of this savage heat made my wife think of my grandmother. As we talked about her, the memory made me laugh. My Nonna was famous in our family circles for wanting to make any company she had in the house a volcanic cup of coffee in the most oppressive of conditions. And there was no refusing. You had to have one, or she would be disappointed. Hopefully, you didn’t sweat too much into the coffee, changing that great taste.

It’s my opinion that my grandmother was more famous for the other operations going on in the kitchen on summer days with searing temperatures. She loved to boil a large pot of spinach or escarole on the stove as the outside temperatures were reaching their afternoon peak, making it seem hotter indoors. She was a non-believer in the high technology of air conditioning, and although she had a stand alone fan, she wasn’t big on those either. Too much of a breeze.

In that kitchen, there was no air movement whatsoever. You felt like you were a couple of steps closer to the sun. Or Hell.

And if you were really lucky, the stove top wasn’t the only thing cooking. There may have been a tray of chicken cutlets in the oven, baking away at 400 degrees. That kitchen was not going to get cooler until it was dark, and the moon was in full view.

When you took a seat at the table, melting into your chair, you knew what the first question was going to be. I always did. In the full throttle of a hazy and humid August day, you dreaded it just a little bit.

“Joey, you wanna nice hot cup of coffee?”

Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things. ~Pierce Harris, Atlanta Journal

Holiday Weekend Edition

To most of us, Independence Day is just a reason to celebrate the coming of summer, with the beautiful weather and fun activities that it brings. I, myself, will be having a great time with some out of town relatives as well as my own family, boating on a gorgeous lake, and watching fireworks displays with my wife and kids on the water.

I love the enjoyment part of it, as well as the majesty of all the American flags that are displayed on house fronts, lawns, and neighborhood streets. It’s hard not to feel patriotic with the images of the pride of America so prevalent.

The 4^th of July has always been a big deal with my family. My parents, in the past, threw some fantastic parties to celebrate. We never celebrated our country’s independence, but did celebrate family and our friendships that were formed over the years. Our nation’s birthday was the opportune time to do so.

This date was also the moment when my grandparents’ love for the New York Yankees was cemented, watching pitcher Dave Righetti pitch a thrilling no-hitter to the archrival Boston Red Sox on Independence Day of 1983. From that day forward, they were ardent Yankee fans, always following the team’s games on TV and radio.

I think my grandparents, as well as the rest of the old school members of my family, appreciated the 4^th of July more than anyone. Yes, they loved having a hot dog and a beer, and socializing at a picnic or a party. But for them, it was something more. They realized the magnitude of the holiday, and how lucky there were to be here in America.

They kept in perspective the struggles they faced when they first came here, but they also saw their opportunities that living in the USA afforded them. And they took full advantage. My grandmother’s family got off the boat here speaking little English, almost certainly destined for a life of consistent hardship. They ended up owning and operating not one, but two, successful restaurants.

Happy Birthday America, and thank you for the good fortune and unlimited opportunity you give. To all of us!

Never Say Die

“Persistence is to the character of man as carbon is to steel.” – Napoleon Hill

If you were playing in a baseball game, and your team was losing 11-0, would the thought of giving up cross your mind?

What if before this game, you lost all the other games you played, in a similarly lopsided fashion. Would that make you want to quit even more?

What if you were ten or eleven years old, and entrenched in this cycle of losing. Wouldn’t you really want to quit?

I’m an assistant coach with this team I describe. If these kids did not want to give up, well, I sure did. It’s actually quite easy to recall all the negative dialogue running through my head during that game:

Man, these kids can’t play at all.

Will anybody swing the bat tonight?

Why are we doing this?

Just play out the string. Just let them play, and in a month, it will be all over.

Nice thoughts for a coach to be having, huh? I was one of the guys supposed be building these kids up, instilling some confidence, letting them know that whatever the challenge, they could overcome. Instead, I’m pacing on the field, looking at the scoreboard, having my own private pity party. But something happened on the way to another beatdown on the baseball diamond.

These kids taught me a lesson. They took me to school.

“When life knocks you down, you have two choices -stay down or get up.”

To give you a synopsis of what turned out to be (even on a Little League level) an epic game, that eleven run lead eventually shrank down to size. With a couple of nice hits, some timely pitching, and our batters being selective in the box when the other team’s pitching went cold, the outcome of the game was anything but decided.

When it was decided, it was a dramatic finish with a play at the plate in our team’s last at bat with two outs.

In that last at bat, with the two outs, our team was still three runs behind. I still thought, even with this very emphatic show of persistence, there was no way they could come all the way back.

Final score 12-11. We win.

I don’t know what caused this monumental spark, a fire lit underneath these kids. But it was sudden. Players that seemed disinterested, even half asleep, began to play in fast forward. And once they got it going, everything snowballed. Still on the short end of the score, you knew which team had the all important momentum.

I think the reaction of most adults faced with such a steep uphill climb would be to pack it up and get ready for another day. But they didn’t. This team displayed a boatload of heart and character.

I was happy for the kids that they got the win. I was proud of the way they kept grinding it out, giving their maximum effort with every at bat, and doing their best in the field.

But, more than that, I was grateful for their gentle reminder that for most situations in life, persistence is everything. It is a reminder that I need more often than not, when you feel like giving it up, it makes more sense to just keep going.

Thanks to a Little League team that didn’t quit, I re-learned once of the most basic old school lessons. Persist. Always be moving forward.

Never. Say. Die.

3 Rock Solid Simplicity Tips From The Old School

There are many simplicity mantras one can follow these days. Whether on the internet, in magazines, or an early morning talk show, you can find tips on simplifying your life and the world around you.

Want “simplicity” choices? There are plenty. Hope you don’t get overwhelmed by them.

Within all the blogs I read, there can be hundreds upon hundreds of tips, some of them conflicting with others, maybe pointing you in one direction when you should be going in another.

If you are among those who have grown weary of all the simplicity content that is so prevalent now, I offer a solution. You can simplify this as well. All the “tips” that you read about, sometimes in great numbers, can be drilled down to a couple that are really important.

Life can be complicated. Technology complicates it even further. I also understand there may be a generational cut off of younger people that have not been guided by the hand of relatives or mentors that practiced and preached a simple approach to life.

I was very fortunate to have a grandmother and grandfather that showed me on a daily basis that your days on this earth do not have to seem complicated or confusing. You can make things easier on yourself, and in the process, make life easier for others.

My grandmother, in particular, had a couple of different mantras that she would repeat over and over again. These lessons could be thought of as simplicity tips that she lived, and tried to pass along. The first is one I’ve written about before, but it’s important enough to bear repeating:

“Life is precious.”

Or, life is a gift that should be spent wisely because we know not how much of this gift we will receive. She thought it a privilege as well, without having a sense of entitlement for anything. Everything had to be earned. She rarely took anything for granted.

This is an important thing to remember, every day. I think of it almost as a mission statement of sorts, instead of a “simplicity tip”.

“Food is everything.”

My grandmother knew the importance of a vegetarian diet before it was in vogue. Now, she was not a complete vegetarian. She loved a nice Porterhouse as much as any carnivore, and she made more meatballs in her life than anyone I’ll ever know. But, more times than not, she was cooking spinach, escarole, broccoli, and green beans, to toss the vegetables with either rice or pasta.

I ate a lot of rice and broccoli in my 47 years. A lot of pasta fagioli. And I drank a lot of spinach juice (she thought the cooked juice helped keep you regular). I ate a lot of simple, healthy dishes that were heavy on the vegetables. My grandparents (and other family members) knew the importance of the quality of the foods you ate, and the long term impact it may have on longevity.

“Life is worth living.”

This is along the lines of “Life is precious”, but deserves its own bullet. Once you realize that life is in fact the best present ever, you have to do your best to enjoy it, do important things, and live it with the people that mean the most to you. The members of this generation spent most of their adult lives on the job to support their families, but they also knew the meaning of their down time and how they could use it to create special memories.

The traditional Sunday Dinner comes to mind. There was rarely a Sunday when parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins were not gathered around the dining room table to eat, drink, and have a mini celebration of life. Making it worth living.

That’s it. Three things. Simple, huh? See life as the equivalent of a gift that should be opened, and that we have fun with. Fuel your body with the right foods to have the abilty to fully appreciate this life. Spend your life wisely. Remember your obligations, but also remember to relax and know how to have a good time.

“Life is not complicated. We just make it so”

Whenever You’re Ready

My memory, such as it is, doesn’t function that well anymore. I’m sure the number 47 has something to do with it, but I’m not going to have age be the “be all, end all” excuse. Because of faulty memory, I tend to write things down now more than I did previously. And I should have written down, to commit to memory, a load of things that have happened in my past.

I’ve posted before about how one of my dream jobs when I was younger was to become a writer. I’ve routinely beat myself up in the past because I didn’t do more to advance that dream, to get the process in to flow so it may have had some opportunity for success.

But I don’t make a big deal of that anymore. The fact is, I was doing plenty of things to make my life exactly the way I wanted along the way. There was no room for writing, as I just had so much else going on, the majority being living my life and building a business within the walls of the family restaurant. I read a quote recently that pretty much hit home what was happening to me, and why:

“We do things when we are ready for them.”

Simple, precise, and to the point. And I agree with it 100%. With the exception of death and taxes, nobody really has to do anything that they don’t want to do. There are no rules or regulations, only the ones you impose on yourself.

You can do things, do anything, on your timetable.

I wasn’t taking on writing again until I was ready. I didn’t want to make room for it until I thought there was room to share. There wasn’t a voice that I had that I thought was worth giving to others. That’s over. I can go with that concept now.

So, you’ve wanted to do something for a long time. Or you want to try something new. How do you know if you’re ready?

1. Get confident. This one’s kind of a Catch 22. When you realize that your life is your own no matter what, your confidence spikes right then and there. The more you move your life in the direction that you choose, the higher the confidence level.

To get confident, do things have to be perfect?? No. As a matter of fact, make as many (non-fatal) mistakes as you can. Mistakes and failure are a learning tool. Things will look and sound better with more experience and more attempts. You just have to get it going. Remember, perfect is the enemy of the good.

I know for a fact that, where this blog is concerned, I will write some good stuff, and I will write some crap. But the crap is just as important as the better writing, because it’s still a tool that is sharpening my skill. And then the hopeful result in the end will be quality content, every time.

2. Schedule It. If necessary, put what you want to do on a schedule or a calendar. Or not. If you want to do something enough, you will just start, and then do it consistently over time. Really, do we need a reminder to do stuff we like?

3. Don’t worry about outcomes. Just take a step forward. And then another. If you take enough of them, the outcome will arrive soon enough. And if it doesn’t, you can always tweak your approach, and then take another step.

4. See the end in mind. Visualizing your life as it will be, not just as it is, is hugely important. True, the present is all we have, but I don’t want to see just my job, tonight’s dinner dishes, and tomorrow’s baseball practice.

I want to see new business opportunities, our upgraded kitchen, trip(s) to Italy, my kids growing in stature and confidence, a (pre-owned) Cadillac CTS as my preferred toy, and a whole bunch of blog readers. And that, for me, would be just a short list.

So see the future. Do things in the present to get there.

Whenever you’re ready…