How To Take Nothing For Granted

What do you take for granted?

Gratitude has been a theme that I’ve posted about here before, and I’ve thought recently about things that I should be grateful for, but sometimes take for granted.

One thing I’ve normally taken for granted, because its always been good, is my wife’s overall health and well being. This changed recently when she had a visit to our local ER with some tightness in her chest, and shortness of breath that we originally attributed to pine pollen.

There’s a history of heart disease in her family, and on our doctor’s suggestion, we decided to be safe rather than sorry, and go to the hospital. Even if pine pollen was the possible culprit.

Although she looked great in a hospital gown (she could look good in a paper bag), the both of us would have rather not been there. Aside from the events of having our kids, my wife does not go to hospitals, or doctors’ offices.

While waiting for test results, I was hoping for the best, but there was cause for concern. It is a subject I’ve never thought about much: I’ve always taken for granted that my wife would always be healthy, and be around to take care of us.

I’ve always looked after my own health. Fighting with elevated blood pressure and high cholesterol, it’s part of my game. My wife didn’t need to be concerned about such things, or so it seemed.

Thankfully, all of the tests (we’re talking blood, CT scan, EKG, etc.) came back with good results, and this was a scare we no longer had to worry about. I’m very grateful for the test results that portrayed her as an almost perfect physical specimen, and promised myself I’d always show gratitude for her health as long as she has it.

Something else happened here. I realized there are many other times that we all take most things for granted. It seems as we get older, we have to come to terms with that sometimes the most important facets of our life are the ones we assume will be a constant.

I thought about little things that I’ve taken for granted, that I can no longer experience. Like the hundreds of times my grandmother made me coffee, and poured it at her kitchen table. And sliced a piece of cake to go along with it.

That was a normal part of life for me, always there. So it got taken for granted. You can reflect on the past, but that experience is now gone. And with that realization, you should be more aware of what goes on now.

I make the coffee now, or my wife makes it. We do it the same way my Nonna did, brewing it with the espresso pot on top of the stove (it’s the best way to make coffee!), and it still tastes great. It’s just different.

A few weeks ago, I was walking through my dining room, and accidentally kicked my son’s baseball cleats that were left by the table. Ordinarily, I would have only noticed it in passing, but I stopped to look at them, and to think.

I thought, those shoes will only be there briefly. Someday, they will be gone, replaced by bigger shoes. And then, when my kids are grown and out of the house, they won’t be there at all. There will be just an empty space on that floor.

I took in that moment, without it being taken for granted. And I was happy to have it.

The little things in life are truly amazing, when you take the time to consider.

I feel like a cup of coffee. Right now.

On Posting More And Shrinking My TV Time

A New Year’s resolution that I wanted to make for 2010 was to make an attempt to step it up with my posting frequency here: to add fresh content that others would find readable and entertaining, and do it more than once or twice a month. Really…I had the best of intentions to do so.

But we all know about the stickiness of resolutions. They normally don’t take. They mostly crash and burn by the middle of February. So, right now, more frequent posting can fall under the category of “something I’d like to do”.

The issue involved that prevents me from posting more often is I have a life. With lots of stuff going on.

And my perception is that doesn’t leave a lot of time for blogging.

Sure, I could put up some cute photos, or a You Tube clip with a couple of sentences underneath and call that a “post”, but I’ll assume enough people are doing that already. I’d rather write something with a little bit of depth. And perhaps the potential to make someone think.

I just don’t do it often enough for my taste.

But, back to the life. I have a job, one that requires several hours of focused attention. That’s how I make my money. A little old fashioned, I know, but it is what it is.

I have a family. A wife and two children who I like to devote most of my free time to. I’m aware that time itself is fleeting, and before it has a chance to run out, I’d like to spend as much of it with them as possible.

These two facets of my life are the most important—with family always coming first.

Lately, I’ve been thinking of ways to post more frequently, even though things have been busy. Trying to find the activities in my day that I could curb in the interest of getting better at, and doing more of, this writing thing.

Watching television is one of these activities.

To help me on the road to more frequent writing, I have a goal that many readers might think seems far fetched: with the exception of live Yankee baseball telecasts, to shut myself off from watching television.

And then use my previously spent “TV time” to live my life instead.

As a guy that likes to watch mostly sports on TV anyway, this sounds like a pretty simple proposition. However, it’s not that easy. There are some quality shows on television (albeit most are not), and like most other people, I sometimes find myself, after a day at the office, kicking my feet up in the recliner, ready to watch. Vegging out. Being lazy.

I’d rather not do that anymore.

I’ve been watching baseball games since I was a kid. I love them. This I cannot cut. Everything else: very negotiable. It’s negotiable because the one resource in our lives that we cannot renew is time. Time runs out every day, and before that time is gone, I would rather not waste it on an activity that does nothing to move my life forward. Going forward is the much better option.

Have you ever thought of what happens with less watching, more doing?

I can do the following:

talk and make plans with my wife
help my daughter with homework
play catch with my son
phone someone I haven’t spoken to in a while
take a walk or run with my dog
read something
cook something really good and tasty
make some sauce
and I can write. Post something worthwhile here. Offer something to the world, instead of playing with the TV remote.

This is just a partial list of worthwhile ways to spend a life, rather than being a spectator to the network and cable offerings.

But looking at it quickly, I think, what a great list. And how I should get started right now.

It’s Like A Heat Wave

The northeast region of the country where I live is now in the middle of some excessively hot weather. The temps have flirted with the high nineties, and the heat index was, in the last couple of days, in the triple digits. These are the kind of days where it’s difficult to just stand around without sweating profusely, let alone be involved in an activity or have to work outside.

The intensity of this savage heat made my wife think of my grandmother. As we talked about her, the memory made me laugh. My Nonna was famous in our family circles for wanting to make any company she had in the house a volcanic cup of coffee in the most oppressive of conditions. And there was no refusing. You had to have one, or she would be disappointed. Hopefully, you didn’t sweat too much into the coffee, changing that great taste.

It’s my opinion that my grandmother was more famous for the other operations going on in the kitchen on summer days with searing temperatures. She loved to boil a large pot of spinach or escarole on the stove as the outside temperatures were reaching their afternoon peak, making it seem hotter indoors. She was a non-believer in the high technology of air conditioning, and although she had a stand alone fan, she wasn’t big on those either. Too much of a breeze.

In that kitchen, there was no air movement whatsoever. You felt like you were a couple of steps closer to the sun. Or Hell.

And if you were really lucky, the stove top wasn’t the only thing cooking. There may have been a tray of chicken cutlets in the oven, baking away at 400 degrees. That kitchen was not going to get cooler until it was dark, and the moon was in full view.

When you took a seat at the table, melting into your chair, you knew what the first question was going to be. I always did. In the full throttle of a hazy and humid August day, you dreaded it just a little bit.

“Joey, you wanna nice hot cup of coffee?”

Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things. ~Pierce Harris, Atlanta Journal

Holiday Weekend Edition

To most of us, Independence Day is just a reason to celebrate the coming of summer, with the beautiful weather and fun activities that it brings. I, myself, will be having a great time with some out of town relatives as well as my own family, boating on a gorgeous lake, and watching fireworks displays with my wife and kids on the water.

I love the enjoyment part of it, as well as the majesty of all the American flags that are displayed on house fronts, lawns, and neighborhood streets. It’s hard not to feel patriotic with the images of the pride of America so prevalent.

The 4^th of July has always been a big deal with my family. My parents, in the past, threw some fantastic parties to celebrate. We never celebrated our country’s independence, but did celebrate family and our friendships that were formed over the years. Our nation’s birthday was the opportune time to do so.

This date was also the moment when my grandparents’ love for the New York Yankees was cemented, watching pitcher Dave Righetti pitch a thrilling no-hitter to the archrival Boston Red Sox on Independence Day of 1983. From that day forward, they were ardent Yankee fans, always following the team’s games on TV and radio.

I think my grandparents, as well as the rest of the old school members of my family, appreciated the 4^th of July more than anyone. Yes, they loved having a hot dog and a beer, and socializing at a picnic or a party. But for them, it was something more. They realized the magnitude of the holiday, and how lucky there were to be here in America.

They kept in perspective the struggles they faced when they first came here, but they also saw their opportunities that living in the USA afforded them. And they took full advantage. My grandmother’s family got off the boat here speaking little English, almost certainly destined for a life of consistent hardship. They ended up owning and operating not one, but two, successful restaurants.

Happy Birthday America, and thank you for the good fortune and unlimited opportunity you give. To all of us!

3 Rock Solid Simplicity Tips From The Old School

There are many simplicity mantras one can follow these days. Whether on the internet, in magazines, or an early morning talk show, you can find tips on simplifying your life and the world around you.

Want “simplicity” choices? There are plenty. Hope you don’t get overwhelmed by them.

Within all the blogs I read, there can be hundreds upon hundreds of tips, some of them conflicting with others, maybe pointing you in one direction when you should be going in another.

If you are among those who have grown weary of all the simplicity content that is so prevalent now, I offer a solution. You can simplify this as well. All the “tips” that you read about, sometimes in great numbers, can be drilled down to a couple that are really important.

Life can be complicated. Technology complicates it even further. I also understand there may be a generational cut off of younger people that have not been guided by the hand of relatives or mentors that practiced and preached a simple approach to life.

I was very fortunate to have a grandmother and grandfather that showed me on a daily basis that your days on this earth do not have to seem complicated or confusing. You can make things easier on yourself, and in the process, make life easier for others.

My grandmother, in particular, had a couple of different mantras that she would repeat over and over again. These lessons could be thought of as simplicity tips that she lived, and tried to pass along. The first is one I’ve written about before, but it’s important enough to bear repeating:

“Life is precious.”

Or, life is a gift that should be spent wisely because we know not how much of this gift we will receive. She thought it a privilege as well, without having a sense of entitlement for anything. Everything had to be earned. She rarely took anything for granted.

This is an important thing to remember, every day. I think of it almost as a mission statement of sorts, instead of a “simplicity tip”.

“Food is everything.”

My grandmother knew the importance of a vegetarian diet before it was in vogue. Now, she was not a complete vegetarian. She loved a nice Porterhouse as much as any carnivore, and she made more meatballs in her life than anyone I’ll ever know. But, more times than not, she was cooking spinach, escarole, broccoli, and green beans, to toss the vegetables with either rice or pasta.

I ate a lot of rice and broccoli in my 47 years. A lot of pasta fagioli. And I drank a lot of spinach juice (she thought the cooked juice helped keep you regular). I ate a lot of simple, healthy dishes that were heavy on the vegetables. My grandparents (and other family members) knew the importance of the quality of the foods you ate, and the long term impact it may have on longevity.

“Life is worth living.”

This is along the lines of “Life is precious”, but deserves its own bullet. Once you realize that life is in fact the best present ever, you have to do your best to enjoy it, do important things, and live it with the people that mean the most to you. The members of this generation spent most of their adult lives on the job to support their families, but they also knew the meaning of their down time and how they could use it to create special memories.

The traditional Sunday Dinner comes to mind. There was rarely a Sunday when parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins were not gathered around the dining room table to eat, drink, and have a mini celebration of life. Making it worth living.

That’s it. Three things. Simple, huh? See life as the equivalent of a gift that should be opened, and that we have fun with. Fuel your body with the right foods to have the abilty to fully appreciate this life. Spend your life wisely. Remember your obligations, but also remember to relax and know how to have a good time.

“Life is not complicated. We just make it so”