Your ability to focus may be the one primary factor in your ability to reach a goal, complete a project, or just flat out succeed. An athlete like Mariano Rivera  is an example of the possibilities of one’s talent to focus to bring a dream or dreams to fruition. Without an intense ability to focus, Rivera most likely would not have become one of baseball’s most dominant pitchers of this decade, and a marvel of post-season success that has enabled the New York Yankees to win multiple championships.

The more I read about Rivera—and research what he does and how he does it—I don’t think that the majority of us could display the tenacity, mental toughness, and physical endurance that someone like Rivera does to reach the pinnacle of his sport. While growing up in Panama, Rivera substituted a stick for a baseball bat, and played with ragged, damaged baseballs. Then, as he got older, his father put him to work in a very physical job in his fishing business for 12 hours a day. Yup, this type of upbringing and driven focus makes Rivera a member of the old school, so my apologies to the young and ambitious of the new school.

It’s not your fault, though. And there’s really not much you can do about it.

There are far too many distractions in this world now to achieve that extreme sense of focus. When Rivera was a younger man in his native Panama, I’m sure was not much time spent on cable television, internet, cell phones, or texting. These modern “conveniences” of today are not conducive at all to the job of focus. The distractions that Rivera deals with—the rigors of travel, injuries, the constant lure of partying in New York City nightclubs—are minimal in number for him, and prove to be no match for his single minded intensity. He wants to win, more than he wants almost anything else.

Focus for me? I’d like to think I could pay attention to the road when I’m driving, instead of looking to the side to see the turn of the autumn leaves, or that drawn out construction project on the main highway. I marvel at the fact some people can drive, talk, text, and eat a doughnut while applying makeup at the same time. I can be as distracted as anyone, and returning to any task after distraction is difficult, and time consuming. It is starting all over again.

There’s still hope, however. You or I may not be able to attain the focus of a champion pitcher, business tycoon, or an actor in their zone. But there are some things we can do to improve our lot in life, whether the goals are large or small:

Write It Down! A training regimen of a Rivera, or an action plan for your business, does you no good unless it’s on paper. The most successful people in any line of work can tell you that a large goal (winning a World Series game) is accomplished by taking steps and completing subgoals (running, exercising, throwing every day). Don’t leave those steps to your memory…write them down to get them done.

Visualize It! Once Rivera knew the impact his pitching prowess could have, he no doubt saw himself as a champion one day. The rest was just completing the steps to get him there. For those of us that aren’t pitchers, whether the goal is a six figure income, the trip of a lifetime, or an improvement on your home, you have to see it in your mind before it can become reality.

Avoid Excessive Media I think this is a big one. How could I write this post, or concentrate on anything, if the TV’s on, I’m net surfing, or someone’s showing me the latest app on their new phone? Every commercial and show that you watch is so quickly edited, I can barely stand it. No wonder kids exposed to too much TV can’t pay attention. I’m so happy I grew up in an era where the camera was focused for longer than one second!

Hold Yourself Accountable! And if that’s not enough, make others hold you accountable, too! Enlist a couple of friends if you have too. Rivera goes through the same stretching and warm up routine constantly—even when he’s not scheduled to pitch! He holds himself to a training standard that most athletes wouldn’t even touch, giving him a great advantage when he needs it most. You can also hold yourself to a higher standard in anything you do. I’d like to think that each blog post I publish will be to the best of my ability. And hopefully you, the reader, will hold me accountable!

Take Persistent Action! Here’s where Rivera really seperates himself from his peers. No other pitcher of this era has his tunnel vision, his unsurpassed will to win. Even with the bases loaded and a full count standing up against him, he keeps his cool, keeps throwing his best pitches, never waning in the attempt to impose his will on the batter in front of  him. Rivera avoided sure defeat in a couple of matches by continually pressing the action, always in constant motion, wearing his opponent down to record that final out.

You, or me, may never be able to focus like Mariano Rivera. But we can always take action, be a little more relentless, and make things happen.

Regrets, I’ve had a few; but then again too few to mention. I did what I had to do, and saw it through without exemption.

From “My Way”, a song written by Paul Anka made popular by Frank Sinatra

As far as Italian Americans in popular culture go, Frank Sinatra is an icon, a hero that generations of us have looked up to. He is almost a myth, with a life of such scope and accomplishment, it’s difficult for a regular guy like me to comprehend living as large as the Chairman of the Board.

Being a fan for a long time, I’ve got plenty of favorite Sinatra songs, and have always admired the lyrics of  My Way, especially the above lyric where Frank seemingly shuns any regret in his life. The song is one of reflection of a life well lived, a life lived with integrity in dealing with the highs and lows that everyone will experience. Little wonder why it was so popular, as it was (and is) a song capable of vast connection.

Regrets are something I never really thought of when I was younger. In my teens and twenties, I lived my life as I chose, without really looking back or thinking anything about that pang of regret that might be felt as you get older and more reflective.

A weblog author I admire, Leo Babauta, wrote a great article that made me think of the Sinatra lyric, and at the same time had me thinking of things that I might have done differently. The post, 20 Things I Wish I Had Known When Starting Out In Life, is a great read for Leo’s attitude toward these things he wished he knew, but also for the striking similiarities to things I look back on with a little…regret.

1. Being more proactive in my career choices. I worked in the family restaurant business for many years, with a countless number of 12 to 14 hour days, most of them without a thought of what I could do differently to improve myself or better provide for my family. Those long days took me away from my wife and baby daughter consistently, and at times I felt powerless to do anything about it. Later on down the road, I held a sales job in an extremely toxic work environment. I stayed there for three years, hoping things would change. I don’t like to complain, but I wouldn’t send my dog to work there. And I was stupid to stay. Eventually I got out, and learned that you always have the power to change anything, especially work related stuff. I wish I had learned that sooner.

2. Being grateful for what I have. Although I may have the “attitude of gratitude” now, it wasn’t always so. As a teen, I could be angry enough to cause someone a real problem, and as I got older, some nuisances of everyday life could light that spark of anger again. It took me a long time to realize that this issue was not going to get me places, so I make real efforts consistently to focus on all that is right with my life: beautiful wife, wonderful kids, great family and friends, a roof over my head, and plenty of food to eat. When I start to stray from that, my mind always drifts to people that are having real problems. And I thank God for what I have, and what I will be given.

3. Sticking with my dreams. When I was young I wanted to be an actor, a paleontology guy, a singer, a bass player, a comic strip artist, center fielder for the Yankees, and a writer. Can someone give me one damn good reason why I am not one of those now? Bartending was a great gig, but in the 2nd grade my goal in life was not to mix martinis. I wanted to play baseball! And as a salesguy, hey I get the bills paid, but seriously…is it anybody’s dream?

I’m 46 now. And I am going to chase the dream. Whatever it is. I will write, will post on this blog, I will begin writing that book. Although my dreams may not be the same as in my pre-teen years from this point on, I will run them down. I’m 46 now. I wish I started sooner.

4. Lost time with family and friends. I’ve lost more time with my family than I care to admit. My kids are growing up, and that time is racing by faster. I have friends, cousins, uncles and aunts that I wish I spent more time with, but now I can’t. They’re gone, and they’re not coming back. And that’s the worst regret. I will never be able to change that. But I can work on what I’ve still got. I’ll be having dinner with a couple of friends this week that I haven’t seen in over a year. I talked to one of my best friends on the phone today at length. And I saw a buddy last week for the first time in a while, someone that I’ve known for decades…at his father’s wake. I can’t turn back the clock on this one, but I can make it better by taking action and reaching out to family and friends on a more regular basis, spending time on the really important stuff.

5. Taking better care of my health. I have smoked extensively, drank more than I needed, and done my fair share of partying until the wee small hours. I ran with a restaurant crowd whose objective after the work was done was to go to other restaurants, nightclubs, and bars until they shut down. And let’s not get started on the food. I was overweight as a teen, but worked hard to lose the pounds, and still keep most of it off. But like many Americans, I take medication for high blood pressure and cholesterol, and I as I get older, the fact that I’m not getting in any better shape concerns me. And the workaholic lifestyle, with the added alcohol and nicotine, were no help. But I think I’m doing the right things. I work out a little more, I don’t usually smoke unless a cigar magically appears, and I try to eat a little healthier. As much as the Italian food diet will allow, anyway.

6. Keeping a journal. Putting my life on paper. Although there are many other things I could list here, I think I’ll stop at number six. With no regrets. I’ve made a few entries into a beautiful journal that my wife got me as a gift years ago, but never enough to tell even a sliver of my story. I imagine how many journal entries I would have amassed if I had started ten, twenty, thirty years ago. I know how it would have been read years later. With no regrets. It would be the story of a man whose life is playing out exactly as it should, with any mistakes or missteps leading to better and bigger things. A series of entries about an awesome life, about a really lucky guy who has everything he could want, and the blessing of good health to enjoy it all. I do wish I wrote a lot of it down. I’d be happy to read it, to live it all again, this bella vita.

Regrets. Frank had a few. I don’t think I have any.