Thoughts on Work Ethic, My Grandfather’s Hands, and Stone Cold Winters

We all love to talk about our jobs, our work. How much we love them, loathe them, or how boring they can be. The subject of jobs is, and probably always will be, a hot button topic.

I’m a lot like other American workers. Most days on the job are palatable, but there are select others that can invoke me into anxiety and doubt.

We can all have one of those days.

Any day at the office can be less stellar than what you expect.

I’ve posted about gratitude here before, and also about if you don’t love your job, don’t worry about it. It’s not necessary to.

But when I have a day like today, I need something to turn it around mentally. And for that, I think about my grandparents. When I consider what they had to go through when they came to America from Italy, I know I have it pretty easy.

When I consider what they had to go through to be successful in this country, I’m sure I have it easy.

I like to have days when I’m happy and enthusiastic about my work. With no negativity surrounding it. Which makes me sound like a sissy who likes to complain.

Because I’m sure if my grandparents wished for anything, it was a day when they weren’t knock down, drag out tired.

Both my grandparents worked in factories. My grandfather in manufacturing and my grandmother sewing collars on Arrow shirts. Primal, physical labor.

My grandfather worked on the railroad for a time, getting so dirty from the work that his wife didn’t recognize him as he was coming home, walking up the sidewalk towards her.

They both worked in restaurants as well, my grandmother waiting tables, and my grandfather behind a bar. He worked the bar at night, after his day job. He didn’t particularly like the work of being behind a bar and serving drinks (maybe because he was already tired), but he did things without much complaint, if any at all. When my grandparents gave their restaurant to my father in later years, both of them still worked there. They went to work well into their 80s. It was what they did.

You know that definition of “work ethic” in Webster’s dictionary? That’s my grandfather’s picture next to it.

We have had a rougher than normal winter here in the Northeast this year. Lots of snow, mind altering cold temps, and ice, ice, ice. Lately, I can’t go anywhere without my hat and gloves. Especially gloves. As I get older myself, I seem to be more sensitive to the cold.

My grandfather never wore gloves. Ever. And those winters back when I was a kid were just like this one. Rough. He may have worn an overcoat, but there was no knit cap pulled down over his ears, either. If he had a hat on, it was a fedora. I can still see an image in my mind of him shoveling snow in cold, brutal weather with bare hands. Those huge, weathered, hard as rock hands never saw a glove. Not that I can remember.

He was one tough guy. And although I don’t think I could ever approach him on the toughness scale (I’ll keep my gloves on, thanks), I can emulate him and my grandmother a little bit by not crying about the job so much when things don’t go my way. And just keep going forward. That’s what they did so well.

Have Some Balls: Make It High Impact

When I was a young boy, I was passionate about any activity that revolved around playing with a ball. Baseball, football, basketball, just about anything.

I’d throw around a tennis ball if that was all I could find. I was fond of kickball as well.

One of my favorite activities was to throw pitches with a rubber baseball against the brick wall of my grandparents’ house, on their back patio. Like many other boys my age, I would pretend I was one of the great pitchers of the day, gunning for that all important strikeout.

I could do that for hours, until I was drenched in sweat. I never thought of stopping.

Occasionally, I would play ball with friends right in the middle of 14th Street, where I grew up, pausing only enough to let the infrequent car pass down the street. Back in the 1970’s, there wasn’t the traffic that there is now on a side street in my city.

Playing in my grandparents’ yard, I injured my ankle once sliding into a imaginary home plate, gashing it on a rock that I didn’t see, requiring a trip to the hospital to get stitches.

It put me out of commission for awhile after I hurt myself. But I knew I had to get back to playing ball as soon as I possibly could, bad ankle or not.

Although I don’t remember it, I’m sure I was out there a week or two later, stitches and all, ready to go. As far as playing ball was concerned, I never wanted to stop.

When my parents bought a house a couple of miles outside of the city, I went to a different school and made some new friends. With some of those guys, I recall afternoons spent in our yards, throwing footballs, playing impromptu games of two hand touch in the snow.

The point of these examples above? I realize that back then, I was involved in more activities that I was fond of, rather than the alternative of things that you should do, which we tend to do more of when we’re adults that are all grown up.

Playing ball so much when I was younger was what I refer to as a high impact activity. Maybe it doesn’t make you money, but instead moves you forward in some way while increasing your “enjoyment” factor.

High impact activities for me now include cooking, reading, exercise, researching high impact people, and planning upcoming vacations for my family.

High impact equals quality. Spending time with my wife and kids is the most high impact thing I can do. In the end, isn’t it all about quality?

It’s important to make the distinction of things you truly have to do (such as providing for your family, taking care of your health) vs. things you want to do or should do. You need to take care of business, but don’t should on yourself, regardless of what others think (read a great article about that here).

Speaking of providing for your family, you don’t necessarily have to love your job or your work. I wrote about that here. You should, however, have a fondness for the other things in your life if you don’t love your work. Take a good long look at your activities outside of your job or business. Are they high impact? Life’s really too short to consider anything else.

Nowadays, although I don’t play ball as much as I used to, I try to get it in as often as possible. Having a ten year old son who loves his Little League makes it a lot easier. And it’s important that I still partake in what I loved to do as a kid.

To keep yourself youthful, make it high impact . Have some balls. And have fun!

Let me know in the comments section how you may be keeping things “high impact”!

ItalianAmerican: Sylvester Stallone

88th Annual Academy Awards -Arrivals — The 88th Annual Academy Awards Arrivals Featuring: Sylvester Stallone, Jennifer Flavin Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 28 Feb 2016 Credit: Apega/WENN.com

Since the mid 1970’s, Sylvester Stallone has been my definition of the term American Idol. As writer, actor, and director of some of the most famous franchises in the film industry, he has been nothing less than an Italian American inspiration.

He has inspired me for many years. In a previous post, I wrote how the original Rocky, the movie that was his breakthrough project, was also important in the life of a particular socially awkward pre-teen.

With this inspirational movie as my training catalyst, I went from an overweight introvert destined for a life of sloth and obesity, to a young man that could do miles of running with ease, and, if needed, physically eject uncooperative patrons from my family’s bar/restaurant.

Stallone kicked ass, and he showed me how to do it, too.

Again…thank you Mr. Stallone.

“I think everyone has a certain kind of formula in their life. When you deviate from that formula, you’re going to fail big or you’re gonna win big.”

“I believe there’s an inner power that makes winners or losers. And the winners are the ones who really listen to the truth of their hearts.”

“I have great expectations for the future, because the past was highly overrated.”

“Once in one’s life, for one mortal moment, one must make a grab for immortality; if not, one has not lived.”

“Success is usually the culmination of controlling failure.”

ItalianAmerican: Vince Lombardi

“The dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success.”

“It’s easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you’re a winner, when you’re number one. What you got to have is faith and discipline when you’re not a winner.”

” The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.”

“We would accomplish many more things if we did not think of them as impossible.”

“It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.”

Saying “No” To Holiday Stress

Here it is. That time of year again.

The time where it seems everyone is stressed out about the big holiday. Christmas. Many of us are still searching for an appropriate gift for someone, or making last minute Christmas dinner or holiday party plans. A lot of people say they are stressed. My wife has said it. My co-workers have said it. I overhear strangers in the stores say it.

The pressure is on. They feel the stress of so much to do, coming down to the wire.

Why bother with all this stress? Stop. It’s not that hard, really. Your kids will not be disappointed if you stop. The adult who you absolutely have to buy that gift for will not be disappointed. If you stop the stress and remember the real reasons for this holiday, you will feel better about it.

This holiday is not about Target, WalMart, or Toys R Us, no matter how much you are persuaded to believe. It is not about the commercials and advertising bombarding you with the idea that this upcoming day will be perfect if you buy that one last present, or go overboard and put yourself into extreme levels of debt for the next year.

It is not about the gift of a Lexus with a big red bow on it (who does this anyway?).

It is about watching Rudolph again. It is about the excitement of your kids finding that one special present under the tree. It is about creating memories with your family and friends, and dropping some money into the Salvation Army kettle when you see one, to help those who might not have much of a Christmas at all.

Remember the birth of Jesus Christ? If memory serves me right, this is the original reason we celebrate this holiday.

It’s not necessary to get all religious on you here. But if we can reflect on why we hold this holiday in such reverence in the first place, it just might lower that stress level. You may be able to breathe a little easier. You might just think…”there’s no reason to be stressed at all, and plenty to celebrate.”

Especially in a year like this one. If you’re lucky enough where your only concern is what to buy your friends and family (and not how you’re going to pay for it) and if you’ll have enough time to do it, you’re doing just fine. No stress necessary.

So, relax, have some egg nog, and have a good time. That’s what the season is all about.

Buon Natale! (Otherwise known as “Merry Christmas”!)